How to be ‘Cool’
Have you ever been in a social situation where your nervousness made you act a little strangely? Maybe you were overly conscious of your posture, the way you spoke or how you looked? To counter this self-consciousness you probably tried to look cool – by saying less, pouting, and standing with a slightly stiff posture. Don’t feel bad, it’s a natural reaction, we all do it.
We believe that if we look cool, people will like us. However, when it comes to the big ‘C’ words, cool isn’t the one you should be aiming for.
In trying to look cool, we unintentionally begin an arms race of coolness. The cooler we pretend to be, the more others around us feel the need to be cool themselves. And, since caring less is often associated with coolness, that’s how they behave, like they don’t care what we think. Unfortunatelty, this makes us feel even more self-conscious, which makes us try to act even cooler, which makes them try to act even cooler….you see where I’m going with this.
This mindset of coolness makes us, and everyone around us, nervous. As we found in our previous article, our emotions are contagious.
The good news is, we can use this same principle of emotional contagion to our advantage. If we stop trying to look cool, and instead aim to look comfortable, we might succeed in making everyone around us feel more relaxed in our presence.
This is one of the key skills of charisma – make people feel comfortable.
There are a number of easy techniques that you can implement to help you feel more comfortable in social situations. They are all covered in our FREE eBook The 3 Simple Skills of Charisma. All you have to do to grab a copy is tell us where to send it, below.